Monday, August 8, 2011

I think I need help with jealousy?

OK, so I'm a junior in high school and I'm considered an average student, I suppose. I see a lot more potential in me but my school work doesn't necessarily reflect that. I mean, I'm doing great in some classes, but I'm doing horrible in others. Specifically, geometry and Japanese. I hate math and I just cannot grasp the Japanese language. I can't drop Japanese because it's my third year, so yeah. Anyways, back to my question. I had hopes of really doing great my junior year and had the unreasonable ambition to graduate with some types of honors. I think it looks good. I wanted to go to a good college, skipping community college, and then go to a great university. Well that all seems impossible. I just feel so depressed and pessimistic about it. Like, I seriously think I have no future. Like, I think that my parents don't expect much of me anymore. I think they even expect me to go to a low rank college or something. It sounds mean to say, but I really do think that. OK, so my friend is graduating with honors and will most likely be able to attend a good university and be able to skip college, since she has good grades. I would be happy for if it were honest, but I can't help but to feel jealous. It's not that I'm mean, it's just that, OK first off, she cheats for almost every test. I mean she even went online and got the answers for a chapter test and got on A+ on it. When she's assigned essays, she copies and pastes online. She even cheated on the PSAT. I mean do you think that's fair? To get good grades through cheating, thus becoming a member of CSF, and graduate with honors because of CSF, when it's all been a result of cheating? Mean while, here I am, doing honest work and I'm not eligible for CSF because of those two classes, and will probably not graduate with honors, and I might even have to go to community college before going to a four year. I just don't find that fair. She copies and get the benefits. I do honest hard work, except for my two "failing" classes, and I get no benefits whatsoever. That isn't fair. I know that this is foolish teenage talk and that this jealousy and injustice that I'm feeling is childish and unhealthy. What can I do? I need advice. I don't want to feel this way anymore but it just seems so unfair! I know that I have to focus on myself, but I can't help but feel this jealousy. Please help me. And if you're going to give me that whole, "You're just a hater," then please don't answer. I want advice from people who understand where I'm coming from and will offer me genuine advice. Thank you so much to those who answer!

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